Laughter the best medicine

2

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  • edited October 2012
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  • There was a Chinese man staying at a cheap hotel. He decided to order a call girl for his pleasure one evening. He dial up an escort service and asked for nightly rates. They said it would be $200 dollars for the night. He asked if there was a limit on how many times he could perform the deed and they told him he could do it as many times he wanted until morning. He finally ordered on and waited until she arrived that evening.

    After a couple of drinks, they got started. When he had finished the first time, he ran over and opened the window and yelled as loud as he could, turned and ran back to the bed, went under the bed and came out the other side. After finishing the second time, he completed the same procedure again. After the third time, he did the little ritual again. The hooker finally asked him why he yelled out the window and crawled under the bed after every time ha completed his deed. He replied that it revived him and gave him power to do it again.

    After hearing this, she decided to try it also because she was getting tired. The next time he completed his deed, she followed and yelled out the window, ran to the bed went under, but couldn't get out the other side because the other 10 chinamen were in the way!
  • A Filipino couple having an early morning bed ritual when suddenly, their three year old son pop up in their bedroom.  Both not knowing how to respond, the father said, "do you want a brother or a sister, son".  The son replied crying out loud, " Dad, I want a poppy, please".
  • Yes, Laughter is good for everyone. :D
  • UR RIGHT,,ITS GOOD FOR UR HEALTH WHEN IT COMES TO LAUGHING BUT,,KNOW WHAT UR LAUGHING AT...
  • I know mahn

    There have been times when someone would say a joke, then some people would laugh without getting the joke. Fake laughs are no good medicine. Lol.
  • Noob..

    your laughetr medicine really crack me up especially the one that sells husbands..lol..

    Now young single men ,there's your proof...if your good, it's not so hard to please women....

    enjoyed the jokes...keep going Noob..

    :))
  • There is this 50 y.o married man who cheated on his wife for young mistress. One day the wife told the husband that she is going to travel to another state to visit her parents.Husband, said " sure honey take your time , don't hurry back, I will be fine". As soon as the wife left, husband called up the mistress and arranged for her to spend the week-end with him at his house.

    He then went to  his family physician and said " Could you prescribed some Viagra for this week-end am gonna have a good time........then the Dr.said , are you sure you wanna take this many? it is very dangerous if you overdose yourself....he said, it's alright I know how to use em and am gonna report back to you on Monday how it goes... then he left, that evening.. he took the meds, and waited and waited, the phone rang and at the end of the receiver said ( mistress) so sorry I cannot be able to spend the week- end, something urgent came up and I had to leave the island"..He said " well, am sorry too cuz i prepared well for your coming, I was gonna show you how good I am since you kept complaining about my.. not manly enough..............lol...

    as soon as he hung up , the effect of the meds started to take place in his body..he needed to relieve himself..of course he did but , it kept coming because the effect is so strong he doubled the doctor's order.

     

    As a result of the above....he broke his fingers, bruised himself and cause swelling to that part..he went back to the doctor and his doc ask what happened, I thought u said your having a good time..eh..the man sadly told the story..Doctor put a cast on his finger , some ointment, bandaged, antibiotics sent him home..his wife arrived from her trip sitting happily smiling.dressed in a sexy gown ...she said " honey, I've been thinking while i was away, how it's been a while we'd never been really enjoying, I decided tonite's the nite..

     

    poor husband..he is all sored up and out of excuses...

    [-X
  • MEMORIES



    The minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He
    said 'Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to
    help me preach.'

    Whatever
    single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind.
    The pastor shouted out,' Cross, 'Immediately the congregation started singing
    in unison,'The Old Rugged Cross.'

    The
    pastor hollered out 'Grace.' The congregation began to sing 'Amazing Grace ,how
    sweet the sound.'

    The
    pastor said 'Power.' The congregation sang 'There is Power in the Blood'

    The
    Pastor said 'Sex.' The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in
    shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say
    anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little
    old eighty seven year old grandmother stood up and began to sing 'Precious
    Memories.' 

  • LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband
    gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The
    wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist
    appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
    The husband,
    rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he
    rolls
    back over and taps his wife again.
    This time he whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment
    tomorrow too?"

    Hello Micsemer:-p
  • LOL...thank you so much Poet for saying thanks and I'm glad you enjoyed the jokes. :)

  • Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.
    The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.
    The second guy wishes the same.
    The third guy says “I’m lonely.
    I wish my friends were back here.”
  • Three men are shipwrecked on an island infested with cannibals. 
    The cannibal king tells the three men that they must complete a test so that they may not be eaten.
    He tells them to bring back 10 pieces of the same fruit. 

    The first man brings back apples and is told he must shove all 10 up his butt without making a noise to pass the test. 

    He gets half of one up there before he screams and gets cooked and eaten.

     The second man comes back with rasberries. 

    As he is about to get the 10th and final rasberry in, he bursts out in laughter and gets cooked and eaten.

    Up in heaven the first man asks the second man why he laughed when he was so close to survive. 

    The second man replied I couldnt help but laugh when I saw the third guy walk in with 10 pinapples.
  • Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip.  After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

    Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

    “I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

    “And what do you deduce from that?”

    Watson ponders for a minute.  “Well, 

    Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. 
    Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. 
    Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. 
    Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. 
    Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. 
    But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

    Holmes is silent for a moment.  

    “Watson, you idiot!” he says.  “Someone has stolen our tent!” 


  • Husband
    and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind
    man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it
    overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the
    bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
    husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as
    he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, Why don't you put a piece
    of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me
    crazy.

    The blind man replies, If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up!
  • lol................
    • “Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.” - James A. Garfield
    • “I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.” - George W. Bush
    • “I know only two tunes: One of them is 'Yankee Doodle' and the other isn't.” - Ulysses S. Grant
    • “An atheist is a guy who watches a Notre Dame-SMU football game and doesn't care who wins.”- Dwight D. Eisenhower
    • “Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.” - Woodrow Wilson
    • "Being president is like running a cemetery: you've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening." –Bill Clinton
    • “Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.” - Lyndon B. Johnson
    • “Politics makes me sick.” - William Howard Taft
    • “Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies.” - Thomas Jefferson
    • “Democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” - John Adams
    • “Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote. The relative positions to be assumed by man and woman in the working out of our civilization were assigned long ago by a higher intelligence than ours.” - Grover Cleveland
    • “Popularity, I have always thought, may aptly be compared to a coquette—the more you woo her, the more apt is she to elude your embrace.” - John Tyler
    • “Blessed are the young, for they will inherit the national debt.” - Herbert Hoover
    • "You lose." - Calvin Coolidge after a woman told him she made a bet that she could get at least three words of conversation from him
    • "I would have made a good Pope!" - Richard M. Nixon
    • “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.” -Harry Truman
    • “Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.” - John F. Kennedy
    • "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'" - Ronald Reagan
  • edited February 2013
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  • edited February 2013
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  • The only laughter I know is the one that would bring them all to light. Ttheir defense is thru the chosen personality of those hunted... It was intented truly for laughter... And a rescue missiom. Came about.. I like it, I like it! Pwan urungawom pun ke ochupa, ika ke eimuni, pwan ia nan!!
  • What are you talking about CJ?? Why do you have to be hitting around the bush?? Talk straight gal. 
  • edited November 2012
    A preacher mistook Moses for Noah during one of his sermons. One lady in the front asked, "What? what about Noah, wasn't he the one who built the Ark?" 

    The preacher replied, "Oh, yes, while Moses was putting on the finishing touch on the Ark, Noah was busy looking for Nails at one of the hardware stores nearby."


  • QUEEN OF MARKETING WOULD LIKE TO INFORM ALL FORUMERS WHO ARE INTERESTED IN NICE HAND SET AND CHEAP PHONE SERVICES... PLEASE CONTACT MS.Fall_IN_myLap aka Ms. Anamota for very cheap phones (smartphones, iPhones and other handset as cheap as $19.00 per handset. 

    MS. ANAMOTA also sells services for the elders. (60 yrs old and above) $80 per year service.  No internet access only text and voice... LEMME KNOW.

    DA QUEEN OF MARKETING Ms. Anamota (aka Ms.Fall_In_MyLap)

    email and a phone number will be posted soon.  Serious inquiries only.

    CJ - AKA MS. ANAMOTA
  • edited November 2012

    You can get sue for advertising none business license under these code...here is..

    http://www.law.cornell.edu/cfr/text/13/chapter-I

  • YES, YOU NEED TO KNOW CJ DOES NOT ROLL WITHOUT HER TOOLS, report it.  NAME AVAILABLE TO  YOU!!  I HAVE NO CHOICE NOW BUT REPORT !!! LET ME ASK THE FBI AGENT WHO IS MY PARTNER ON HOW DO HANDLE YOUR ISSUE.

    What is your interest in this case?  YOU TURNING POLITICAL INTEREST INTO A FIGHT ~ YOU WENT FROM EXPOSING THAT YOU PLAY ON A PRON SITE TO NOW DESTROYING BUSINESS?  report it, dude!  I am not giving you my source.  I really have no choice but report your play ground and see WHO HAS THE LAUGH!!!  ONE OF MY MENTORS IS AN FBI AGENT ~~  ANY MORE QUESTIONS?  dang!! 

    You stop hunting me, will you deal with your EMOTIONAL HURTS!! i am not part of that team that hurt you, I am not following anyone's que.  Let's see who will be laughing, you are exposing yourself.  I WILL SERVE THE FORUM WITH YOUR NAME.  THIS IS BORDERING HARASSMENT ON LINE.

     THIS IS WHAT CHUUKESE CALL AMWALEK NGE ANOPA!  Minen chok katon an emon sewa pun sipwe claim me non, MWA MET YOU PAY MY DOLLARS TO UNCLE SAM PAY YOU TO WORK AND YOU HERE RUNNING OFF YOUR FINGERS... mwa kese mochen KUPACHENO PUN KESE UK!!  i DO NOT give a RAT if you ARE AN ATTORNEY OR NOT, YOU ARE FIGHTING BLINDLY, I will have someone contact you to find out the info. you would like to report.  Be ready ~ mwa kan TIPOM NGE MATAWOM!! KESE FEN ASAW ~~ PWARI KOPUT NON FORUM.  All cuz you are enjoying PLAYING ON PRON SITE.  If I were you, I would start thinking real hard.  CUZ CJ IS COMING FOR YOU AND WILL NOT BE STOPPING!  You got nothing on me, what you hear and get are mixed info FOR A GOOD CAUSE. 

    KESE ASAW INA NE MINA FEFIN, KESE KUTTA ION ENNA E OSUKOSUKOK, IFAN NOUM SENI UPWE NOUNOU FOR EDUCATION!! MI WOR!!! If not, then SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY.  YOU MAKE ME SICK.  I will have someone contact you for the info. you would like to report.
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